she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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