I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
