Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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