We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
