I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
