I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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