Pappa wants mamma naked
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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