On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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