Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
