just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I understand Curling. That high.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
