I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
