remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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