I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
