Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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