omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I am naked and annoyed.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
