Im at strip club and am horny
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
