I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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