let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You've changed since you got that strap on
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
