i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
