i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
