I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
