why didn't you poke me back
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
