eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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