btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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