So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
