i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize