Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
