He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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