I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
