i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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