You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
