Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
