im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
it's like heaven, but drunker
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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