You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
