That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
