I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
