Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
