You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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