its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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