i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Im part way to drunk.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
