census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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