I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
