I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
