he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
