I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
time to smoke my breakfast
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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