It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
BRING THE BAGELS
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
