Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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