My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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