Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
