Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
