ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
