awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
