all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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